The Offended 
(Actually this is technically trip #2, but who’s counting? OK, obviously I am but still…)
So, I had apparently posted this little gem to my blog in order to offend myself a few years back:
I know, right??
Now, I’m pretty sure I originally pilfered it from someone else, since that’s where all my best stuff (OK, all my stuff) comes from, yet there it was, with MY name attached to it on the first page of Google images.
Why?
Because Google loves me and hated SOPA as much as I did.
Hooyah!!!
Yep, that’s where I found it whilst searching for something completely unrelated to perverted, alcoholic, (possibly copyright infringed) Catholic priests and between you and me, I can’t for the life of me quite figure out what the hell about it could have possibly offended me back then???
Hmmm.
Maybe it was during my “I’m in AA so everyone who gets drunk and freaky with a midget without me is an asshole and I hope they burn in hell like a piece of bacon for all eternity!!” phase?
Or, maybe it was during my “the new pope is fucking evil, why can’t anyone else see it but me???!!!!!!” phase?
Either way, now I just find it sort of… what’s the word…. comforting?
Yeah, that’s it. Comforting.
And soothing. You know, like a good ball waxing.
I mean honestly, what with the upcoming apocalypse and all, it’s reassuring to know that I’m not the first one God will smite upon His imminent return!!
Um, or the second…
What?!
I didn’t make him evil, he did it all by himself!
Well someone did. I just pilfered it so Google can give me credit for it.
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012, 11:58 pm | 
Apocalyptic Offensives, Blogging Offensives, Catholic Offensives, Child Offensives, Copyright Offensives, Google Offensives, Liquor Offensives, Nostalgic Offensives, Pedophile Offensives, Perverted Offensives, Pope Offensives | 
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February 22, 2012 at 12:05 am
“I know that for the wheels of justice to grind exceedingly fine, they must also grind exceedingly slow.” – Hunter S. Thompson
Relax, you’ve got a while.
February 22, 2012 at 12:10 am
Just remember, you are quoting a guy who died at his “fortified compound” of a “self inflicted gunshot wound”.
What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I’m just killing time until… you know…
February 22, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Ah Chelle. You and your offenses. I especially missed the whole catholic priest molestation ones. You are good at what you do.
completely unrelated, but I’ve begun the grueling process of becoming a Canadian gun owner. It’s horrible but I am determined to overcome the overly regulated idiotic socialist dumbassery.
Every day, I become just a bit more American, don’t I.
If you ever get the chat going again, I will regale you with my impeding arsenal.
February 22, 2012 at 7:20 pm
If Google tells people its yours, it must be true
They are always right.
Look at how well Google+ is going?
February 23, 2012 at 12:55 am
I came across one of my pictures during a Google search once. It was a picture I took of someone in my family. It was kind of unsettling at first until I realized it was from a blog posting.
February 23, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Me too! Then I turned on SafeSearch.
February 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Oh my word!
February 23, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Let us never speak of my days in catechism again…
February 24, 2012 at 4:20 pm
We saw that the very first time the new pope’s photo was shown on TV. Take real close look and tell me he doesn’t look like the evil emperor from Star Wars.
Go on. I dare ya.